Home blog Exhausted By My Mind: Living With Chronic Fatigue

Exhausted By My Mind: Living With Chronic Fatigue

by angela
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Ever need a #vacationfromvacation ?? That is totally me right now and my body is paying for it.

You see, I suffer from myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME)- also known to the world as #chronicfatiguesyndrome 

The outside looks amazing- but the inside of me is hating everything about life.

Yes, I can keep up with the pace of life with lots of coffee and some meds, but the next day, I will pay. And I will pay hard.

My nerves inside my muscles will throb. My muscles themselves will feel like they just ran a marathon, when all I did was visit family and friends.

Why is this happening to me? How long? It’s neurological, and something that has no cure, not even much research- yet cancer, diabetes and heart disease combined can’t come close to how many already suffer with #ME. 

It started when I was a kid and my parents would tell me the pain in my legs were #growingpains …it wasn’t.

We look okay on the outside, but our minds are mythical creatures in the sense that something ‘then’ can effect the ‘now’ by a simple memory or even a scent.

My type of fatigue is a domino- it starts from a thought and trickles down until I’m 7 hours into my work shift and then bam- that fatigue hits me like a train I cannot dodge. 

Then I’m down.

I might not rest in the way ‘rest’ might look..because yea I’m still cleaning the house, doing my #momlife stuff but my brain is somewhere else.

Fatigue begins in your head, and if I take care of my mind first, the domino won’t be so bad. But if I’m not kind to my inner self, you’ll see the outer deteriorate.

And that’s what you see here… On our trip home a lot of friends, family + even strangers made it a point to let me know- I need to #gainweight … I know…and I’m working on it daily.

When I’m not kind to my mind, this is what happens to my body. It drops to 98lbs of Ange and functions at full capacity.

Thank you for your concern, but know that 

Telling someone they are #tooskinny is just as fucked up as telling someone they are #toofat 

Everyone has their own story and this one is mine.

On another note, my mind will be fine because my heart is fulfilled- that trip was what I needed. Your stories were what I came for ?

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